Driving down the drive-way last night, I saw a foreign object under the front yard tree. What the hell is that, I think to myself, as I reach for the gun that isn’t there. whatever it is, it’s large. It’s black. It appears to be looking back at me.

Turns out it’s a cow lying down in my front yard. Actually, it’s 4 cows lying down in my yard. I don’t know if they’re Bill’s cows or if they’re someone else in the neighborhood’s cows who’ve gotten loose and decided mine was a good place to stay. They’re probably Bill’s. Either way, they shouldn’t be hanging out in my front yard.

Anyway, I let Sadie out of her kennel for a quick run about the front yard and I see that my bike is lying on its right side. OMG!!
The good news is that I can pick up my bike if it’s lying on its side; the bad news is that my bike was lying on its side to begin with.

Damned cows.